I am anxious and disturbed

While the rest of the world stresses over final exams and last minute Christmas shopping, I'm anxious for an entirely different reason - gah, I just went to pour boiling water from the kettle into the tea pot and it was actually boiling, and in motion, and spilled on the counter. That could have been bad - anyway, the tea isn't the reason for my anxiety.

I want to share this quote from Lemony Snicket Book 6 - The Ersatz Elevator (which I have not infact read, but find this quote amusing none-the-less).

The book you are holding in your two hands right now -- assuming that you are, in fact, holding this book, and that you have only two hands -- is one of two books in the world that will show you the difference between the word "nervous" and the word "anxious". The other book, of course, is the dictionary, and if I were you I would read that book instead.

Like this book, the dictionary shows you that the word "nervous" means "worried about something" -- you might feel nervous, for instance, if you were served prune ice cream for dessert, because you would be worried that it would taste awful -- whereas the word "anxious" means "troubled by disturbing suspense," which you might feel if you were served a live alligator for dessert, because you would be troubled by the disturbing suspense about whether you would eat your dessert or it would eat you. But unlike this book, the dictionary also discusses words that are far more pleasant to contemplate. The world "bubble" is in the dictionary, for instance, as is the word "peacock," the word "vacation," and the words "the" "author's" "execution" "has" "been" "canceled," which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about "nervous" and "anxious" and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.

I am infact, "anxious" about applying for Graduate school. I found out today that the deadline for McGill's program is January 15. January 15! That's less than a month away. So I anxiously sent an email to Wendy Roy at the English Department, on the advise of Ron Cooley, because Wendy did her Ph.D. at McGill. Hopefully she can help me by giving me some advise as to what kind of program would be best, and who are the good professors. Gah! I'm worried that I could screw everything up if I make the wrong choice. Perhaps it would be easier if I just became a "starving writer" next year. Anyway, that's my anxiety for today, and I need to go drink some tea.