Monday, March 28, 2005

Weird Theories; and, Other Games You Can Play With Your Friends

Today in Browsers (I'm usually there Mon/Wed/Fri from 2 pm until 3:30 pm, so if you want to meet me I can almost guarentee I'll be there) Kevin and I were talking about how Anton and I have this game where we were attempting to cast actors to play all the people we know, and ourselves, in a film. For example, we've decided that I'm going to be played by Michael J. Fox. Anton, will be portrayed by Jerry Seinfeld. Ewan is Mel Gibson. Stephen Koo: Jeff Goldblum. And we decided that Kevin would be played by Jim Carrey ala Eternal Sunshine, but Dean will be played by Jim Carrey in some other film. You get the idea. Let me know who you think will play you (all though many of you have people that we have already decided will play you).


We have a number of weird theories that are fun to talk about (ask Ewan about the one about which 60s rock band coresponds with The Simpsons, Family Guy and South Park). The one I was thinking about today is the "Kevin Smith Film Career Theory."

It goes like this. So far of all the part-time jobs I've had in my life, I started out in a convenience store (ala Clerks) and then moved to a video store (also ala Clerks). Now I work at the mall (ala Mallrats). I decided that means that I'm going to be a comic book artist (ala Chasing Amy; you get the picture). It all makes sense.

  1. Clerks: convenience store, video store, or petty drug dealer
  2. Mallrats: mall employee, mall rat, or date rapist
  3. Chasing Amy: comic book artist, lesbian, or jilted lover of a lesbian (see the song "Pink Triangle" by Weezer)
  4. Dogma: angel, cleric, abortionist, or apostle
  5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: film maker, web administrator (see here), or federal wildlife agent
  6. Jersey Girl: publicist, father who realizes his family means more to him than work, or drive a street cleaner
I guess after that one is destined to become insecure in one's skills as an artist or professional and fall back on the things one started with, and cave into the demands of your legions of fans who refuse to let you become mature or deal with non-"dick and fart joke" films (ala Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks).


At 6:53 p.m., Blogger Dean Ziegler said...

Hmmm, this is very thought provoking indeed! I like the idea of my brother and I being the same actor, but from different roles.
Actually, Jim Carrey ala Dumb and Dumber would be somewhat appropriate in my case. As Kevin can confirm, I've had the haircut of BOTH of the main characters from that movie at one point in my life. Although I think that I would prefer to be played by a muppet, mabye by one of the pod-people from Dark Crystal, those guys knew how to party.

At 1:30 a.m., Blogger Ryan said...

Did we ever really figure out who would play me? I can't remember if we decided on someone.

At 1:44 a.m., Blogger Johannes de Silentio said...

It was John Cryer, that's who I feel should play me. I was always called 'Duckie Dale' (his character in 'Pretty in Pink') in high school and therefore have grown an appreciation for our similarities.

At 10:00 a.m., Blogger i_rabies said...

i want to be played by emma thompson...(not because i am so arrogant to assume i am good enough to have emma thompson play me...or that she would be a good person to play me)...but mostly because she is good friends with alan rickman and they have done a number of movies together....and i love emma thompson...HA HA HA...(okay i didnt take this as seriously as you guys)...

At 4:53 p.m., Blogger jessica said...

is there any way i could be played by alice in wonderland...

At 7:38 p.m., Blogger Ewan said...

I think it's obvious Ryan...Topher Grace.

At 1:41 a.m., Blogger Anders said...

Man, Topher is totally who we had picked out back at Christmas. That's you Ryan. Ha ha!


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